Wondering

wondering? what is going on?
What is happening to me, to
my life? my life is so screwed up.
it is in shambles, shattered
at my feet. Wondering?
Why i didn't listen
to the people that tried to
keep me from making the
mistakes i made and messing up?
Wondering?
Why did i ever believe you?
why did i ever listen to you?
why didn't I listen to any one else?
I guess i wanted to believe,
needed to believe, that no one
would use me, abuse me.
I never thought that no one
would ever take advantage of me.
Wondering why I couldn't see
through your lies and stories,
when ever one else did.
Wondering?
Is love Blind? Is it deaf?
Perhaps love is both blind and death.
why is love so hard to understand?
This is the question that has me
sitting here wondering.

Wrote on 05-25-2001